Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Seeing His Hand, Part Two

Wow, God is so amazing! I was so humbled that on a dark and rainy Friday night, God was still showing me not to be afraid. To continue on in faith. I finished eating, packed myself back up in the car while it is still raining and I'm ready to continue on my way.

It rained hard the next hour - visibility was drastically reduced and I will admit that I thought about just turning around and going home! But, I'd already come more than halfway and an hour and a half in the hard rain which I would have to go back through. So, I continued on.

After about an hour, the rain stopped - almost instantly. Just stopped. And, you know what else? My heart was the calmest and most peaceful it had been all week. It was as if I had weathered both the storm physically and spiritually and God had brought me to a quiet place.

The rest of the drive went smoothly and I found my host home for the night. Morning dawned and I attended the training all day.

I found myself feeling very overwhelmed during the day - I had so many questions. Everyone seemed so far ahead of me in terms of knowing the program.

Yet - I heard some encouraging things that reminded me why I was interested in this program.
Proverbs 24:3-4,
"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."
I found myself battling many doubts of being able to lead this group, being qualified to lead a group, etc... After the long day of training was complete - I walked out to my car and called David to let him know I was on my way home.

The next thing I did was burst into tears and cry for the next few minutes - which helped! Right after that, I saw a rainbow! (It seems faint in the picture - click to enlarge, but it was not faint in my eyes that afternoon!) I can't tell you how beautifully that rainbow spoke to my spirit and heart. It was God's promise that He was still with me, having not forgotten about me or given up.

I proceeded to see three rainbows over the next hour - amazing and beautiful reminders of God's promise to Noah and to me. So special of God to send those rainbows at quarter of 6 on a Saturday evening!

I have thanked God for this "thorn" of worry, fear and struggle - because through all of it, the things it has accomplished most are driving me deeper and closer to Him. I wanted to climb up in His lap and have Him wrap His arms around me and tell me everything was going to be ok and He would take care of everything. In a way - this is exactly what happened. He met me each step of the way showing me through His Word, song, prayer and even His creation that I was following Him in faith.

God's ways are not always easy - but following His ways is always right. To God be the glory.


To wrap the story up - we ultimately decided not to begin our own group. We still love the program and are thrilled that a new group has opened up closer to us that we will be part of this year. I'll share more about this in the near future. What a blessing for God to provide a way for us to be involved.

Do you want to share about a time YOU saw His hand and experienced a walk of faith?


Ginger said...

When I was diagnosed with cancer on July 6, 2007, I was terrified of what would happen to my son if I died. My parents were 76 and 79 at the time M had just turned 13. We had no way of getting hold of his father in Colorado. Then, the night before the surgery, I got up at 1-ish to go to the bathroom. As I went back to bed, I had a vision in my mind of Jesus on a white horse in a flowing white robe with a spear. He was leading a brigade with me and other, faceless people behind me. I took it to mean he was leading us into battle and I *knew* then that all would be well. They biopsied 20-something lymph nodes in the area and found nothing beyond the tumor that had already perforated the colon. That in itself would tell a rational person the cancer probably spread. From that day on I was in remission, the oncologist said. The chemo was a precaution. During the 6 months of chemo, I missed maybe 4 days of work---just for the chemo I had to schedule on school days. The 4 $700 anti-nausea pills (pre-insurance) a month helped and I was not sick, just tired.

Michelle said...

Wow, Monica! Thanks for sharing that.

I wrote about a time that God's hand was so obviously on us, when we were making a cross-country move. Here's the link to the entry in my blog: http://homeschoolblogger.com/jandrlearnathome/782864/

Flyonthewall said...

Thank you for sharing this story. Inspite of all our doubts and fears, God is always TOO good to us! I am glad that you decided not to start your own group. I fear that so many times there is a false pressure put upon young mothers to minister outside the home, when their greatest responsibility is their own family. There are so many ways (which you already demonstrate wonderfully!) to minister to others from within your home, while still maintaining loving care to your own family. Running a group -- whether it be homeschool co-op, Sunday School, AWANA, or whatever -- can be time consuming and distracting to the already busy schedule of a young mom. There is a time and season for everything, and this season of raising "little ones" passes all too quickly! God bless you and your husband as you continue to faithfully seek His will for your family! I feel certain that He will say "Well done, thou good and faithful servant" to you both!

Beth Niquette said...

I have struggled with fear for years. Thank GOD He is in control.

Thank you so much for your description of your experience. This has ministered to my heart this morning.

((hugs)) Thank you.

A said...

Monica, so what is this group? Why did you decide not to lead one?
With your story, I just realized that I need to pray much more and put my life in His hands!
thank you for the story

~katie~ said...

Thanks for sharing this story Monica. Love how you sought God's wisdom and He provided!

I can think back on several occasions in my life where I now see how God orchestrated all the events. I admit that many times during the midst of it all ~ I am not aware of all that God is doing! It's usually in hindsight that I see just how amazing He works beyond anything I could ask or think!! One particular time that comes to mind is when we were making the decision to homeschool or not. The Lord just placed people in our lives that I could never have imagined....so much support and information just landed in our laps. We really were torn for a while but knew it was what we wanted...we just wanted to make sure it was what He wanted.

Well, I just have to comment I love the way that you articulate your stories on here of faith!! God truly has gifted you in this area and for good reason! You share about His love in such an engaging manner, like we are taking the journey right along with you but for a moment... Who knows what God may turn your writing into from this blog or otherwise??

Blessings to you,

Monica Wilkinson said...

"A": The group is Classical Conversations - I will mention it in our homeschooling post later in the week. As far as why, the biggest reason was the lack of peace over time that we had about that. It would have been a BIG time commitment and I loved flyonthewall's comment because she captured why this was a concern for me. My biggest job is my home and family. If something bigger comes along that would take away from that - it might not be the right thing for me to take on during this season. I'm certainly not wanting to put a poor impression on CC because we are excited about the program and glad to be part of it this year even though I won't be leading it.

I hope I've communicated clearly that it was not a fault with the program - but our own lack of peace and following what God wanted for our family.


Paige said...

We have a CC group here already up and running, and even just being a part of it and not the head of it seems very time consuming. It's also very expensive and the two combined have made it a "no go" for us.

Angelia said...

I am blessed by your sharing. It was neat to see the struggles He placed tangible in the moments you were going thru.Dare I say reflects of the possiblities of hardship if you went thru with doing something that was not best for your family. God directs "us" to do for our familys individual/personal needs. Thank you Lord.

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful, faith-building story. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Lauren said...

I thought for sure you werre talking about a homeschool co-op. WE joined a Christian co-op in Savannah and my girls have loved it! It is only 1 day a week but gives them interaction with other likeminded Christian homeschoolers.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I had God CLEARLY speak to me when I was trying for my 4th baby. It was unmistakable! God said "wait" and then when he blessed me it was perfect timing!

Mom said...

What a well-told story of God's powerful presence, leading, and comfort! Love you, Mom