Thursday, February 04, 2016

When Believing Is Hard

Seasons come and seasons go and sometimes come around again. As time moves forward, it seems like we should too right? Yet, these seasons have left their marks and it can be hard. I've heard the word numb lately in many conversations. I've used that word to describe myself.

When I hear another friend of a friend has cancer - I didn't feel anything. Numb.
Trudging through another day when life feels hard. Numb.
Wondering what the next step is or if God is hearing. Numb.

It reminds me of years ago when I lived in my yellow apartment and I loved to watch Hallmark Hall of Fame movies. Once in a while I would hit a patch where I could watch the movie and not cry at a moving scene. I remember praying that God would let me cry again even during a movie because it meant my heart was soft and that I could feel.

Recently, I have been thinking more about this. I've been pondering things that my heart has believed that are not true.

God's promises seem easy to believe for others and hard to believe for myself.

Does He really have good things in mind for me?
Does He really love me for who I am when I mess up so much?
Has life made me cynical and hard for me to believe?

I'm working on a series for my blog coming up later this Spring and I want to know what promises it is hard for you to believe for yourself. If you don't want to post it publicly, send me an email or leave an anonymous comment. I will not post names as part of my series, but I want it to be an encouragement to you, to me, to each of us walking through the hard of life.

What lies are you believing that are dragging you down? What promises of God are you having trouble believing? What has left you feeling numb?

It doesn't end at this question and that is the good news - God has an answer for every single one. Thank you in advance for sharing yours with me so we can learn and grow together.

I don't want this to be a downer post at all - in fact, I think maybe this is the best place to start. Coming clean with our numb-ness, our struggles to believe, being honest. I want to search God's Word for promises and stand confidently on them and believe them for myself even. And, I want that for you too. There is not an easy fix to this kind of heart and soul ache and yet there is. Jesus is the perfect fix for all, I'm the one who stands in the way. That doesn't mean everything is going to instantly come up roses but that I will take captive every thought to the obedience of Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5)

Won't you join me?


Wendi said...

Oh, my friend, how this speaks to me! I struggle with feeling like I am never good enough. I am an introvert so I feel like I don't fit in enough, my home isn't clean, organized or large enough, I'm not thin enough, when I am in a group Bible study I don't feel like I am smart enough, I feel like I am the only one without the latest and greatest gadet (hello, one step above a flip phone!) and the list goes on and on. It seems that those around me (which I know is most likely a misconception) have it together when I always feel like a hot mess. Seeing yourself through the eyes of God and not the eyes of the world is difficult. (even when you are mainly surrounded by Christians in your circle)

I am looking forward to this series!

Unknown said...

I relate so much to what you shared. I am struggling today dealing with things that have piled up over the past 6 years - things I thought I was dealing okay with...but then something happens and the pain & confusion appear. and the anger. and the discouragement. the grief cycle continues.

I guess the promise I am struggling with is: "cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you." I KNOW He cares for me, I guess my problem really is that I don't care much for me.

I prayed honestly, from a broken heart, I was fervent in prayer, trusting He would answer ... and He did - it was a NO. a firm NO. I have accepted the "no" and believe He knows what is best. but I can't see how it is best. I struggle with that - asking Him to settle my mind, bring peace to my heart, and joy to my soul.

Looking forward to the series you are writing. Praying for you now as you have opened your heart to hear what causes our struggles that you don't pick up the burden of our struggles.

thank you for today's post. Your words help me feel not so all alone.


Unknown said...

I sent you an email, not because I didn't want to be public, but because it was easier for me. I look forward to your posts.

angie said...

My extended family is in the midst of the greatest trials that I can imagine. It is a worst nightmare come true! We want it to be over NOW and it all is seems so unfair. And there are people to blame...and I have. While I know that God is working toward his sovereign plan, I am having trouble believing that that He knows what is best,
falsely believing that the fear I feel is from God, and
wanting to write the ending with 'a happily ever after.'
I'd be glad to provide more details in a private message.
thank you for approaching this series, despite its difficult nature.

Mrs. Chrissy T said...

Failure as a mom...parent...I am seeing things in my children that I have felt my husband have worked hard trying to teach them through Christ and Mentor's and they are making choices that leave us speechless. No they aren't horrible but it worries me as I see there are seeds somewhere in their character that I either didn't notice or don't know how to deal with it. Our goal in life is to raise God fearing serving men and women disciples but yet the pull of the world are strong. My kids have been raised on the church pew, we spent many of nights doing devotions, we always have dinner together, we speak of character, we teach bible, we have mentors for them....but I am reminded they are really God's and that can be so hard to trust. To let go. To let them experience hurt, pain, betrayal, and hardship. I want to put them in a bubble, control the situations, and honestly as a type this I realize I may have a prideful motive...I want "good" kids. Surely having "good" kids means I am a great mother. I can write a book on this. :) But I am really having a hard time believing I can do this. We (my hubby and I) are doing enough, will be enough, will cover enough. I have this lie that always swirls daily in my head that they will not make it. I will fail them. Not only that I see my only character flaws and I know that I am not the best influence. Dear Lord...this was long. :)

Ginger said...

What do you mean by "promises"? I have heard this for years, but no one has explained what they are. Are they things that are in the Bible for every believer, or are they things you "know" God has said to you? Can you give examples?

Unknown said...

Probably the biggest lie that I find myself coming back to over and over again and having to challange myself on is that I am enough as a stay at home mom that doesn't have a degree in anything. I love writing, taking pictures, baking, holistic health ... yet I'm not an expert in any field and sometimes I start believing that I am "less." I go in cycles :) Often I realize that I'm right where I'm suppose to be in life...loving all my littles with all of me... but then sometimes I get this nagging that I'm wasting my life or that there could be more ... that I should do something to become "important." Of course when I'm listening to truth I know that I am enough...i'm exactly who He created and wanted and that He takes pleasure in me and what I love, even if others don't see it.

Mom said...

The line in your post that describes how I so often feel: "Trudging through another day when life feels hard. Numb."

Besides the love and support of my sweet daughters, the thing that helps me the most is my gratitude journal. I try to write down five things every night that I am thankful for from that day. I miss some days when I'm especially tired or down, but I can always, always find things to be thankful for (example: I'm thankful for Carrie and Naomi's recent visit and that our power didn't go out during the recent snowstorm!).

I'm looking forward to reading more about your thoughts and insights.

Anonymous said...

My goodness, I am coming out of a period of time where I had a lot of doubt that God existed at all. Five or ten years ago, I would have laughed if someone had suggested that I'd go through a couple years of doubt. But then I did. I was mourning the end of a very close friendship and I just kind of spiraled into doubt. I'm on my way out of it now, but I still have moments where I think, is this even real? Today I walked early in the morning and the sun was rising, and my first thought was, thank you God for letting me experience this. A year ago, my thought would have been very different.

So I think one lie we tell ourselves is that our relationship with God will always be the same. He is constant, but we just are not. It takes work on our end... sometimes a lot of work.