Thursday, November 17, 2011

To See Like My Savior: When Nothing Has Changed

Well, it's been a while since I wrote anything on this topic - but this morning it seems appropriate. As you are reading this (if you're up early enough) we're headed to a children's hospital an hour away for Samuel to have an MRI. (Note: I'll post an update at some point, but imagine it will be a week or two before we have any results.)

Since I last shared about his vision here - we've gotten glasses, been back for a check up and even been for a second opinion. Truthfully, nothing has changed yet. And, it is easy to feel discouraged when things are not helping the way we had hoped. So, at the encouragement of our doctor - Samuel is having an MRI to make sure nothing else is going on to cause his vision problems. If it is clear {as we are hoping and praying} then the doctor will know how to proceed in treating his vision.

It can be so discouraging to think we're doing everything right - putting his glasses on him, putting the drops in his eyes, taking him for his check-ups and then to find that things aren't going the way his doctors had hoped.

And, you know what? I've felt kind of like this spiritually lately. When I feel like I am still struggling with things that have been hanging around a long time.

It's true for my heart and it is true for Samuel's eyes - all I can do is walk in what God is showing us to do. To continue to be consistent in treatment - for me, spending time in His Word and for Samuel to continue being faithful in putting on his glasses and remembering his eye drops.

For both of us, there is a certain fear of something hidden being found out. What will an MRI show? What does God truly see in my heart?

It also reminds me of a verse that has been meaningful to me lately:

"We live by faith, not by sight." ~ 2 Corinthians 5:7

So, even when it seems like nothing has changed (living by sight) - I can be confident that He is aware and that placing my faith in Him (living by faith) is a much better use of my energy!

How do you walk by faith instead of sight?

PS: Thank you all so much for your sweet comments yesterday! I smiled, I cried and I felt hugged. You are the best and I am so thankful for the gift of friendships with each of you!


Kimberly said...

Praying for you all today.

Mom said...

Praying for all of you this morning! Love, Mom

Megan said...

Good thoughts here, Monica, and I'm just popping in to say I will definitely be praying for you and Samuel right now.

Peace to you today, friend.

Shelby said...

Praying for you today that all of the testing would show nothing. Cast all your care upon Him for He careth for you. I Peter 5:7.


Lauren(in Savannah) said...

Praying for the doctor to have wisdom and for Samuel and his family not to be nervous but know that God is in control.

South Girl in the West said...

Samuel and your entire family are in our thoughts and prayers. I think everyday we rise from our beds and start our day, we walk in faith. we have faith the sun will rise each day. we have faith that as we teach our children of Christ and his ways, they will be better for it. i believe that our faith filled actions are what must come before the blessings! remember-faith preceedes the miracle.

Lisa N said...

It is hard waiting for answers. My Hubby goes for MRIs every 6 months to a year and it so easy to let myself worry, doubt, and question why.
I am praying for a clear scan,for Samuel to be calm, and for your family to be strong.

Echoes From the Hill said...

Praying that all is well.

Mrs. Pear said...

Praying. It is hard to wait and watch and pray when there is no sign of prayer being answered, but hang in there.

our daughter had hip dysplasia and then her hips were naturally more shallow, so much so that the doctors were preparing us for the very likely surgery on her horizon and the body cast that would be part of the recovery. We prayed fervently. Appointment after appointment showed NO CHANGE. Until this last one where the change flabbergasted the doctors and made them downright giddy as her hip angle closed 7 degrees and you could actually SEE the hip growth on the x-ray without the measurements. She is now considered borderline for future intervention. And we keep praying.

I share this to encourage you. Hang in there. Hang on to God. Pray, and know that He hears you and loves you.

Meems said...

I just prayed for your precious family.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Monica,

I do understand how you feel. I've been there! However, I also know that God's timing is always best. You are so right to know that we need to draw near to God through Bible Study and prayer and then TRUST Him to do what is best for us and our loved ones. I know that is not always easy,but I will be praying for your strength and courage. You are doing a GREAT job and are closer to the Lord than many young women your age. You are a HUGE blessing to so many, Honey and a very good mother to your precious children.
I love you dearly and am praying for all of you, Grandma

Kristin said...

Thanks for sharing these past couple of days. I appreciate your transparency. We are all in this journey of ups and downs and daily battles and can certainly relate on some level. I know I can!!

I'm sorry to hear about Samuel. I had no idea, but praying that you would get a clear outcome from this extra testing.

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving week!