Monday, November 11, 2013

Holy Mess

Life has felt like this picture above lately - beautiful and dreamy while in a blur and out of focus a bit. Out of focus is a good way to describe how I feel with mess. A full schedule. Clutter all over. Feeling overwhelmed and how will I ever get it all done?

A borrowed copy of Ann's One Thousand Gifts DVD study infused my day with beauty last week. She lives a beautiful life and makes it more beautiful by her presence, peacefulness and creativity. Mostly, I allowed myself to just be visually inspired and listen to her calming voice. However, I wrote down a short list of words and phrases that really jumped out at me.

One of those phrases was this: holy mess.

A big pile of laundry next to the washer and dryer came up on the video as she talked about it. And, it struck me - this calling is holy, for it is of God and it is of eternal value. This mess that comes with it ... can I see that as holy as well?

It does not mean I give in to and succumb to the mess - that would not be a holy mess, that would be a lazy and defeated mess. I'm not sure I fully know what it means to me yet but the thought will not leave my mind and I like it rolling around up there. It feels lighter than the overwhelmed feelings that threaten to overtake. It feels more right and more at peace.

She said, "to choose stress is an act of disbelief." 

David and I talked about this - there is stress that is chosen and stress that you cannot avoid. Some is circumstantial and other can be a choice for sure. So, if choosing stress is a lack of faith then choosing peace and stress-free {when possible} is a step of faith.

God gave me a visible lesson this past week. I had written a list of things to do on Thursday and at the end of the list I wrote: salad and carrots. See, I am trying for us to eat out of our pantry and freezer as much as possible before we get ready to go to Colorado.

Plans were, I would take Emily to ballet and then hop over to a close grocery store and get the two items. Just as we were preparing to leave the house, I saw that I had a message on my phone. It was a sweet friend who wanted to stop by and visit and bring me lettuce and carrots from her farm!

I was not stressed about the veggies, but it was a visible lesson to me of how God cares for the details. There was nothing else I was going to get at the store - wow. This has just stuck in my mind as a concrete reminder of the fact that God knows what I am feeling and the weight of my to-do list. He knows how much I will or will not accomplish today. He knows that I needed lettuce and carrots. He is worthy of putting my faith in!

A few other words I wrote down: {italicized words are from Ann's DVD series}




God is always good and you are always loved.

Just say that last one over and over to yourself a few times ~ it is beautiful and feels like a hug. My children are happy and though I sometimes get frustrated by the clutter and chaos, I should be greatly rejoicing that I have three happy, healthy, full-of-life children to share my days with. In a nut shell, that last sentence is what holy mess means to me - it is taking the focus off of the dreary mundane and elevating it to beautiful and awe-inspiring holy.