Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Far Beyond

{Not written today ...}

It's been one of those days. No, not one where my children were out of control and misbehaved and everything went haywire. Though, everything did seem haywire. It was one of those days where I felt like I absolutely could not keep up.

At the very same moment this morning:
Samuel was waiting on me to start his workbook.
One of the girls called needing help rinsing her hair.
I was working to try and get a lid that was stuck in the bath tub drain.
The phone rang.

I laughed out loud {better than crying, I guess} on my way to the phone and wondered to myself and the Lord how I was supposed to succeed under these kinds of demands. I mean, you know the drill - you are helping one child and two others are getting into other things or not doing things they should be doing or the phone is ringing or the laundry needs switching or, or, or....

I've failed miserably all day. And, now in the late afternoon - I finally sit down to process and try to refocus and make more of the evening than I did the day.

When I close my eyes - I picture this gentle and quiet spirited mama sitting on the sofa with her Bible and her sweet children peacefully sitting nearby looking quietly at books so they can all cultivate the inner beauty that the mama longs for both herself and her children. I picture a mama who is more concerned about a heart for the Lord than a tidy house. A Mary heart and spirit.

And, then I open my eyes or at least my mind and remember how very far I am from this imagined ideal. I'm struggling to focus on my spiritual life because of the overwhelmed feelings that come from knowing how I'm failing at all the things I wish I was doing and wish I was doing better.

So I force myself to do the next thing and grab my copy of Jesus Calling. I've already read it for the day, but I pull it out again to see what I need to learn today, what obviously did not soak in the first time. Desperately looking for some truth to cling to. This is what I read,

"I am able to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine."

... far beyond ...

Really? My mind instantly starts to doubt the beauty and reality of this. Because if that is true - then the image I saw earlier when I closed my eyes and even more could become a reality. And, I show my lack of faith and how well I know myself by fearing that could never be.

Desire runs deep and is stirred at this thought - could I really begin praying that God would go far beyond with me? That He would take the things I'm fearful about or struggling with and make them into beauty just because He can and promises He will?

Next, I look up the Scripture references listed at the bottom of the days reading:

Ephesians 3:20-21, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Romans 8:6, "The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace."

Isaiah 40:30-31,
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

~ far beyond
~ immeasurably more

~ life & peace
~ renew their strength, soar, run, walk

Today, these thoughts gave me comfort and hope and courage for the race. And, amazement that He would go far beyond with me.


Brandy said...

Such a great post. Great for me to think of some of these truths along with you as I'm seeking to trust the Lord and have faith and peace in Him!

~katie~ said...

Bless you! I have more days like that than I'd like to admit, but the Lord is there always, just waiting for me to depend on Him through them all. :) Thank you for sharing your reflections and insights on your mothering journey!


p.s. Is that your typewriter?! Lovely!!! I have a dear friend who types me notes on an old-fashioned typewriter, and I always am so tickled to receive them. Love the sound of the typewriter too ~ reminds me of "You've Got Mail"!

Jamie said...

Thanks for posting! Needed to hear those scriptures today :)

Mom said...

Love how you have taken this trying day and drawn a lesson from it! Thanks for sharing...

Far beyond indeed! Love you, Mom

Heather's Blog-o-rama said...

Beautiful post, Monica. You know what, another of my blogger friend's is going through the Jesus Calling devotional, too :) :) I'm going to check it out ;) :) Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather :)