tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post8659116246719946921..comments2024-03-27T05:20:57.996-04:00Comments on Monica Wilkinson: Keeping It RealMonica Wilkinsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17235919587298518908noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-62455166861317432712009-02-15T07:28:00.000-05:002009-02-15T07:28:00.000-05:00Hello Monica, I love reading your blog...it is lik...Hello Monica, I love reading your blog...it is like a breath of fresh air as I live in Chile as a missionary wife and a mom to three beautiful children ages 13,10,&9. I am originally from TN and we have only been in Chile for 8 months. I know how taxing it can be on you at times raising children. I have had those same feelings many times. I am a very picky about how I want things done and sometimes I felt that it was easier and quicker for me to just do things rather than teach my children how. The Lord showed me that I needed to let them do things to the best of thier ability and not mine because they are not little adults they are children. As far as cooking goes, the Lord gave me direction in having a "helper schedule" that rotated each day or week, as they got older. Sometimes for special things one helped with adding ingred. & the other would mix. Just don't let the devil defeat you by making you think you are a failure...I still struggle with this myself at times because our minds are a battlefield.Remeber each day is a gift from the Lord. "...forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before," Philip. 3:13. I know you are a great mom!! Keep up the good work and encourage yourself in the Lord. Psalms is a great place for that. THink of David...God called him a man after His own heart yet look at all the mistakes he made. God loves you and will guide you through this. In CHrist, StephanieStephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17049507537566591645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-89069480511159531902009-02-13T11:42:00.000-05:002009-02-13T11:42:00.000-05:00Your girls, especially Rachel, are awfully young f...Your girls, especially Rachel, are awfully young for some of these expectations.<BR/>It is wonderful that you want to share these experiences, and teach them, but they are still toddlers, and their attention spans are very short at this age.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-78541816810841456692009-02-13T00:19:00.000-05:002009-02-13T00:19:00.000-05:00Oh Monica,You echo the experience of every mother ...Oh Monica,<BR/><BR/>You echo the experience of every mother in the world. And, let me tell you that it is no different being a gramma. It is VERY trying to raise and teach children no matter how much effort and patience we attempt to put into it. We are only human beings after all. Maybe you are right, and staying out of the kitchen for now is best. Maybe small things in the kitchen will work, i.e. putting food coloring in the water and letting them do the dishes. Whatever you decide, your little people will remember what a wonderful mommy you were—faults and all—due to the great effort you put into your job as a mother. They can tell. And, mostly importantly, the way that you are raising them up to love and live for the Lord will be so very evident to them and will bless generations to come. <BR/><BR/>Blessings to you, Monica. You are an awesome person, and I KNOW that you are an awesome mommy just as your Heavenly Father knows the same. :)Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05549190997375771361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-4347772079922760792009-02-12T16:04:00.000-05:002009-02-12T16:04:00.000-05:00Hey Monica!If a single person posts here that they...Hey Monica!<BR/>If a single person posts here that they have never felt like they could be a better mother than they already are, I will eat my keyboard! I think it's a natural part of being a GOOD mom to think we are NOT doing a good job. It keeps us in check and balanced. Just don't let it overwhelm you! <BR/>And, my boys are 5 & 7 years old and I still do all the measuring, supervise them dumping the ingredients in a bowl, and they take turns stirring. That's the extent of their helping in the kitchen at this point. I too get frustrated easily as ingredients are spilled and the kitchen is destroyed!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-81034385831708153482009-02-12T09:41:00.000-05:002009-02-12T09:41:00.000-05:00I just started reading your blog. How old are you...I just started reading your blog. How old are your girls? We are starting BFIAR with my son. The books just got here but he is getting over an ear infection so we will start next week. He is starting kindergarten in September and I was looking at using FIAR for that so I wanted to try it out with BFIAR first. Anyway, I am glad to get to read a little about someone who is already doing it. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-50130010205324701182009-02-11T15:49:00.000-05:002009-02-11T15:49:00.000-05:00You mean that I am not the ONLY one to feel impati...You mean that I am not the ONLY one to feel impatient with my children? I only have one child, and I have many days where I feel drained and on edge. Things are getting better, but I was (sad to say) not perfectly prepared for motherhood after my son was born. Your honesty is wonderful and refreshing! You are a GREAT mother - do not feel bad! :)Crystalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726533564570133675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-35596875826565629982009-02-11T13:19:00.000-05:002009-02-11T13:19:00.000-05:00By the time you read my comment you will be on to ...By the time you read my comment you will be on to a new mercy-filled day, trying all over again in your sweet special way. I love your blog and I love your truth. You are being refined to perfection and soon when we look in the mirror and see His face on that day... The Day the Lord returns. It will be because you tried to bake, you try to do so many different things daily. You try, you Love, b/c you give of your self, you give all your strength to the point of brokenness all in the name of God's Love. I trust God in our brokenness we are being made whole in Christ. Bless you on your daily journey in life with the Lord as the mother of three and wife that is praised and trusted by her hubby. Smiles, Angelia in TxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-87972478146511278862009-02-11T12:35:00.000-05:002009-02-11T12:35:00.000-05:00If mom's not happy, noone is. I have heard that t...If mom's not happy, noone is. I have heard that term over and over never really understanding what it meant. I read recently that our attitude and tone help to set the household's attitudes. Keeping that in mind, if we know something doesn't gel with us in the season we are in, then simply take a break from it. It is not worth a mean mommy. I am learning that I have to go to bed earlier in order to be a better mom and also to stay out of the stores. That almost always makes our days go smoother.<BR/>I don't know if that helped much, because I know we want to raise responsible children that enjoy similar things we do, but it may not be that time.<BR/>EliseElisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00669663704444452161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-81630191227047951682009-02-11T12:09:00.000-05:002009-02-11T12:09:00.000-05:00I so appreciate your 'realness'! You're a great Mo...I so appreciate your 'realness'! You're a great Mom!:) My boys are now 14 and 11, and I have been where you are - except I only had two children, and quite honestly -- that still seemed like a LOT when they're little! :)<BR/><BR/>I just want to encourage you to keep things simple and enjoyable. Honestly, I think they're too little. Maybe you could have a certain day that a child gets to be "mommy's helper" for supper or whatever, but honestly I'd try to involve them in other ways. For example - you make the cake yourself, but let them be involved in putting the frosting on and maybe some fun 'sprinkles' or something. They'll still be 'cooking' with you, but enjoying the 'fun' part, rather than the 'tedious' detailed part. This is what I learned with my boys. Rather than having them help me actually make the sugar cookies, I'd make them and let them help me frost them. It was much more enjoyable and less stressful. :)<BR/><BR/>Hope that helps! Have an awesome rest of your day!<BR/><BR/>DebiDebihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01198334740736836366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-89348385854470365572009-02-11T10:25:00.000-05:002009-02-11T10:25:00.000-05:00Remember the words "moderation and balance" from y...Remember the words "moderation and balance" from your post today? I think you hit on the key to incoporating littles into chores. Maybe it is not practical to include them in all of the things on the to-do list for each day, but perhaps one chore each day. Or I liked the idea that others suggested to have the girls take turns being your kitchen helper.angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00688991209865856563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-7854525747582031012009-02-11T10:16:00.000-05:002009-02-11T10:16:00.000-05:00You know I love you, sweetie! I think you are awfu...You know I love you, sweetie! I think you are awfully hard on yourself and I know you are the best mom you can possibly be. Have patience with yourself and it is okay to have bad days. I have those days on occasion too. I admire your bravery to put three littles in the kitchen at the same time. I admire your honesty and I know your kids will remember how fun you are ((Hugs))Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10635304837180578317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-67745194912810338072009-02-11T10:05:00.000-05:002009-02-11T10:05:00.000-05:00Just think how much easier everything will be when...Just think how much easier everything will be when Samuel is Emily's age. <BR/>It probably isn't the season to be making scratch carrot cake from start to finish with them. I'd start with just helping me sprinkle the top with nuts or something.<BR/>I only have two and I feel like that a lot. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you're doing a wonderful job.Jenny's Vegcafehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09822613057446516660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-54264924987995164732009-02-11T09:51:00.000-05:002009-02-11T09:51:00.000-05:00I have so been there as I'm sure all the other mot...I have so been there as I'm sure all the other mothers who have commented to this post! I know if doesn't make it okay when we feel like that, but just wanted you to know I feel for you and am joining you in being refined right now!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-25000070953640208592009-02-11T09:43:00.000-05:002009-02-11T09:43:00.000-05:00Since you like to cook/bake with your littles, may...Since you like to cook/bake with your littles, maybe there is a young teen homeschooled girl that could come for a few hours one afternoon a week to watch Samuel while you and the girls cook and bake. The girl would get some valuable babysitting experience (even if she just holds him while the two of them watch you) and you could give your full attention to the girls. I wouldn't feel that you would need to pay her, as she is gaining the babysitting experience; however, you could give her some of your cooked/baked products if you'd like.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for your blog. I learn so much from it! AnnaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-44869297866696710592009-02-11T09:18:00.000-05:002009-02-11T09:18:00.000-05:00Bless your heart! I do understand where you are c...Bless your heart! I do understand where you are coming from. It is so much easier to do it yourself most times. I would definitely revist baking with them when they are older, especially with another one crawling around. When mine were that age I measured out ingriedients and let them pour it into the mixing bowl, that seemed to work best for both of us. Now my 9 year old is wanting to do more and she can, but messes are still an issue that I have to learn to let go. I keep thinking I could do it, not have a big mess and be done. What I have learned is that it is not helping her for me to do it. She will one day need to know this herself and she is old enough to clean the mess up too. What she needs is my patience. As littles though just relax and revist letting them cook when they are older, unless it is just to "help" you by adding premeasured ingredients. I hope today is better for you and the ladies!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08944930114052239336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-84740275917271274742009-02-11T09:06:00.000-05:002009-02-11T09:06:00.000-05:00Oh Monica! This week especially, when everyone in ...Oh Monica! This week especially, when everyone in my home is in varying degrees of recovery from the flu, I especially appreciate your Keeping it Real post. I'm really struggling this week with keeping laundry washed and not yelling at everyone... sickness can really bring out the worst in any family, I think!<BR/><BR/>About baking/cooking: To be honest, I do think that baking with a two and a four year old is inviting disaster into your kitchen... I've found that age 5 seems to be the perfect age to start baking and doing much more than setting the table. I've also found that cooking with just one child at a time is much easier on me, the child, and the kitchen floor/counter/walls. Is there a time that you could make pancakes or something with just one of hte girls while your husband entertains the other two children? Even if you did this only once or twice per month with each child until they were bigger, it would be creating pleasant memories.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there! Remember that everything is only for a season. This season, you have two preschoolers and a baby... you do waht you can and save the rest for another time. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-54956899745728844702009-02-11T08:28:00.000-05:002009-02-11T08:28:00.000-05:00Monica, we all have days like this! Thank heavens ...Monica, we all have days like this! Thank heavens God sees us through Christ and not how we are in ourselves. I loved how you said maybe you need to be baked in God's love for a while.<BR/><BR/>Is cooking with the kids maybe something you could do when your mother's helper comes? Or the girls could take turns spending a few minutes doing it with you? We have the same experience when I cook with my 3 and 1-year-old girls. It can be chaos! And definitely harder than doing it yourself.<BR/><BR/>I appreciate you sharing from your heart with us about this. I hope things get better. :)Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03309241540221272766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-10212744630162918422009-02-11T08:02:00.000-05:002009-02-11T08:02:00.000-05:00Hi Friend! I don't have any advice as I am there ...Hi Friend! I don't have any advice as I am there with you, but with just one old enough to be helper. Hugs Mama!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-62946880129543856122009-02-11T07:14:00.000-05:002009-02-11T07:14:00.000-05:00Dear precious woman. You are so good to share wit...Dear precious woman. You are so good to share with us so honestly. So many of us feel overwhelmed at times, you are NOT alone. You do such wonderful things as Mom, please becareful not to be to hard on yourself. Maybe do a little cooking with the ladies while Samuel naps. Or simply put it off till Daddy is home and then they can help one at the time. Or wait altogether. They will not be harmed in waiting longer to bake. Do NOT think you are not doing well. Believe no lies. Think rightly, pray ,and know we all struggle. YOU DO AN EXCELLENT JOB. If i were close by i would come over with tea (or coffee!) and cookies and big hugs, because i am so thankful for you dear sister in Jesus!tammypAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-79098222220435529422009-02-11T06:19:00.000-05:002009-02-11T06:19:00.000-05:00Wow...you have gotten ALOT of comments on this pos...Wow...you have gotten ALOT of comments on this post! <BR/><BR/>With all the other thoughts you have been given..I won't bog you down with more...except remember to just keep praying and that through our weaknesses...God is strong. It's OK to have weaknesses! xoxoKatyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03118653637763160580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-50960317214598513342009-02-11T01:00:00.000-05:002009-02-11T01:00:00.000-05:00Oh Monica, I'm not pretending to be old and wi...Oh Monica, I'm not pretending to be old and wise, but after years of the sorts of episodes you are describing, I decided to have my girls help me in the kitchen one at a time. Now the older two are 10 & 9 and have several favourite recipes they love to bake. They can now manage it from start to finish on their own, including the putting in & taking out of the oven. We now just need to refine the cleaning up of the kitchen afterwards! I thought this day would never come, but it has, and sooner than I thought it would!<BR/>Wishing you patience with your trainee bakers...it will come :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-32213293203872730022009-02-11T00:44:00.001-05:002009-02-11T00:44:00.001-05:00If baking with your girls stresses you out, skip i...If baking with your girls stresses you out, skip it! You can reintroduce this activity when they are older.<BR/><BR/>Maybe for now, you could have them help with the necessary foods - they could help prepare dinner side dishes, so they can have the kitchen experience without you being stressed about making unneeded food. Maybe they could even take turns - one girl can set the table while one helps cook, then they switch the next night.<BR/><BR/>If cooking meals with them is also too stressful for you, then allow them to do quiet activities close to you while you cook.<BR/><BR/>Nobody can do everything, so try not to stress about it if you can't cook with them right now! You do plenty of other things with the girls, so they are definitely not neglected or missing out.<BR/><BR/>The fact that you apologized to your girls says a lot about you. Keep up the great work!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-7418858766421741172009-02-11T00:44:00.000-05:002009-02-11T00:44:00.000-05:00Hello,I just came across your blog and I love all ...Hello,<BR/><BR/>I just came across your blog and I love all of the crafty things that you have done.<BR/><BR/>I agree with all the other ladies. I don't remember if I read how old your girls are, but remember the most important thing is that you are making memories with your girls and spending time with them. Also remember that it does take practice! Try to do it at a time when you really feel up to the task of having them help and you know you will have more patience with them.<BR/><BR/>Maybe next time try to bake with them when the baby is napping or when your husband is home so he can watch Sam.<BR/><BR/>I have a Sam too and he turned 2 years in November. He has a sister, Emma who turned one in November as well. She was a complete surprise as we got pregnant with her when Sam was 6 months old and surprised us again when she made her entrance in this world 3 months early. She spent nearly 6 months in the NICU and was terribly sick for a while, but you would never know it now.<BR/><BR/>I have Sam help me bake once in a while. I measure out the ingredients and have him help me pour it in the mixing bowl. He loves to watch the mixer and food processor go and even does sound effects! I don't have him help me put the batter in the pans or the cookie dough on the sheets, but just to give him some exposure so he gets an interest in it for when he is old enough to really start helping. <BR/><BR/>Emma is still to little to help in the kitchen, but I look forward to the day when I can have her by my side helping me too.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Take care and God Bless, I look forward to reading more of your blog.<BR/><BR/>JodiJodihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275198751602722451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-84117270456744724882009-02-10T21:43:00.000-05:002009-02-10T21:43:00.000-05:00everything your mom said. read her comments over a...everything your mom said. read her comments over and over to yourself...really process them. she is sooo right. with as many littles as I've got, trust me on this! :) dawn m.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13617895.post-7709014946644732732009-02-10T20:09:00.000-05:002009-02-10T20:09:00.000-05:00Monica, just to cheer you up, here's a really cute...Monica, just to cheer you up, here's a really cute carrot idea that I literally just found on my friend's blog after reading your post!<BR/>http://niceears.blogspot.com/2009_02_10_archive.html#1772558338250536708<BR/><BR/>And regarding the cooking, my kids are the same age as yours roughly, and I have had many similar experiences. Well, just as carrots have their seasons, life with kids has its seasons too. One day you'll be able to send them in to do the carrot cakes all by themselves! :)Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01079053507817689870noreply@blogger.com